Today has not been great and if I’m honest I’m feeling very low about myself today.
First of all I had a disaster at work. I took ages over a simple project and missed the deadline. It’s something I’ve done hundreds of times before and I should have done really easily. But I have been so distracted with my thinking that I missed the deadline and put a lot of people’s noses out of joint.
I am relied on to do this and my boss and other people in my team are not very happy with me. I just don’t know what happened, I thought I was in control of everything and then all of a sudden the deadline had passed and I was miles away from even getting it together. I feel completely crushed about that.
What made it worse was that I then went home and ate a lot of food in my depression. I have not done this for years and it’s going against everything I’m trying to achieve with better diet, exercise and fitness.
It wasn’t a really big binge or anything, but it was enough to make me feel sick and scare me. At one point I even thought about making myself throw up, which would have obviously been something even more serious.
It’s a shame that I have reacted this way, as the previous week has been great, I’ve been exercising well, joined the gym and my diet and body fitness have been improving. But what happened today crushed me and I sit here now feeling completely broken. My partner will be home soon and I am not sure I want to tell him, because it will worry him sick as well.
On the plus side, I’m trying to now put this behind me by writing this and I’m thinking that tomorrow is another day and I’m going to be better and stronger than I have been today. I’m going to go into work and apologise everyone in my team face-to-face and explain that I’ve been having a few problems out of work. I will go into detail, but I think is important they understand, then I’m going to go and speak to my boss personally.
I meant to go to the gym and going to eat well and am going to try and put this overeating problem behind me, and focus on getting back into a great diet and exercise routine.